As a School Psychologist for over a decade I was involved in a lot of conversations between students, families, external services, and the school. My role allowed me to be privy to lots of situations which families are struggling with when navigating the school environment. Situations included difficulties focusing, friendship issues, bullying, informing the school about mental health, or learning needs. Many parents expressed feeling nervous approaching the school or principal, this is completely normal and with some preparation can be mitigated.
I often supported families to build relationships with the school and ease their concerns when facing a difficult conversation. I would often remind parents that the school staff are there to help and also want the best for the student. Carers and teachers working together to support the young person generally helps the student to feel more connected and increases a sense of belonging.
Sometimes having an informal conversation with the year coordinator, pastoral care teacher, or even your child’s favourite teacher is a great way to open the door for future conversations. It is never too late to start the connection. You can give the school a call and request to chat to a particular teacher or email the teacher to introduce yourself and your child. I would also suggest you let your child know that you will be making contact with the school to build a connection, emphasising that it is important that they understand that you are all there to support the child.
If you require a more formal discussion about a concern or difficult situation that has occurred, I recommend doing the following steps.
- Being clear and concise: It is important to write down what you want to express. Jotting down notes and practicing what you want to say will help to provide more clarity and help direct the meeting. Depending on the age of your child you could ask them open ended questions about the situation and help to gather as much evidence as possible.
- Mode of communication: emails, phone calls, or in person meetings. There are numerous ways to approach connecting with the school. Depending on the concern and the severity of the situation you may want to send an informal or formal email, arrange an official meeting with the school or make a phone call. After having a meeting with the school I suggest sending an email to acknowledge the decision or what was discussed in the meeting this will help to remind everyone on the meeting’s content if something else arises in the future.
- Talking to the right person: Your child may be best placed to tell you who to contact about a certain situation. Alternatively contacting the administration may also help to direct you to the correct person. Schools often put a lot of information on their website that help you to identify who to talk to about the particular issue.
- Understanding the school and what they can offer. Every school is unique and has a framework which they work from. Looking at the school’s policies and procedures may help to guide your approach to the situation you need to be addressed. Looking at their policies and procedures online or requesting them via the administration may help you to understand their standpoint on the important matter; this may include a bullying policy or uniform policy. Depending on the schools’ resources, it may allow them to have more services to support the student. It all starts with a conversation in order to find out what they offer.
If you have any questions or require support contacting your child’s school I am available for parenting support sessions. Please contact the practice for more information.
